Many couples find that the face-to-face contact of their early dating days is gradually replaced by hurried texts, emails, and instant messages. Commit to spending some quality time together on a regular basis.
No matter how busy you are, take a few minutes each day to put aside your electronic devices, stop thinking about other things, and really focus on and connect with your partner. Find something that you enjoy doing together, whether it is a shared hobby, dance class, daily walk, or sitting over a cup of coffee in the morning.
Try something new together. Doing new things together can be a fun way to connect and keep things interesting. Focus on having fun together. Couples are often more fun and playful in the early stages of a relationship. However, this playful attitude can sometimes be forgotten as life challenges start getting in the way or old resentments start building up.
Keeping a sense of humor can actually help you get through tough times, reduce stress and work through issues more easily. Think about playful ways to surprise your partner, like bringing flowers home or unexpectedly booking a table at their favorite restaurant. Playing with pets or small children can also help you reconnect with your playful side. One the most powerful ways of staying close and connected is to jointly focus on something you and your partner value outside of the relationship.
Volunteering for a cause, project, or community work that has meaning for both of you can keep a relationship fresh and interesting.
It can also expose you both to new people and ideas, offer the chance to tackle new challenges together, and provide fresh ways of interacting with each other. As well as helping to relieve stress, anxiety, and depression, doing things to benefit others delivers immense pleasure. Human beings are hard-wired to help others. Good communication is a fundamental part of a healthy relationship. When you experience a positive emotional connection with your partner, you feel safe and happy.
When people stop communicating well, they stop relating well, and times of change or stress can really bring out the disconnect. And even if you do know what you need, talking about it can make you feel vulnerable, embarrassed, or even ashamed.
Providing comfort and understanding to someone you love is a pleasure, not a burden. However, your partner is not a mind-reader. While your partner may have some idea, it is much healthier to express your needs directly to avoid any confusion.
Your partner may sense something, but it might not be what you need. So instead of letting resentment, misunderstanding, or anger grow when your partner continually gets it wrong, get in the habit of telling them exactly what you need.
For example, one person might find a hug after a stressful day a loving mode of communication—while another might just want to take a walk together or sit and chat. When you experience positive emotional cues from your partner, you feel loved and happy, and when you send positive emotional cues, your partner feels the same. While a great deal of emphasis in our society is put on talking, if you can learn to listen in a way that makes another person feel valued and understood, you can build a deeper, stronger connection between you.
But it will help you find common points of view that can help you to resolve conflict. How often have you been stressed and flown off the handle at your loved one and said or done something you later regretted? Touch is a fundamental part of human existence. Studies on infants have shown the importance of regular, affectionate contact for brain development. Frequent, affectionate touch—holding hands, hugging, kissing—is equally important.
As with so many other aspects of a healthy relationship, this can come down to how well you communicate your needs and intentions with your partner. Healthy relationships are built on compromise. Knowing what is truly important to your partner can go a long way towards building goodwill and an atmosphere of compromise. Constantly giving to others at the expense of your own needs will only build resentment and anger.
If you approach your partner with the attitude that things have to be your way or else, it will be difficult to reach a compromise. Sometimes this attitude comes from not having your needs met while younger, or it could be years of accumulated resentment in the relationship reaching a boiling point. If you can't believe your partner when they tell you something, or if your partner is hiding things from you, it's going to be hard for you to feel safe.
Honesty helps foster trust and a belief in each other, which is crucial to making it over the long haul. Here's what open and honest communication in a relationship looks like. Another key quality of a healthy relationship is empathy. Empathy means trying to understand what your partner is feeling.
It isn't about trying to fix your partner's concerns and problems, necessarily, but about being able to be there for them. If you can pay more attention to what's going on with your partner and strive to see things through their eyes, you will find yourself getting closer over time rather than more distant.
Do all the things for your partner that you would do for your best friend. Try to anticipate their needs. Think about what they need help with and try to be there for them. Cut out the behavior that gets on their nerves, and find ways to uplift your partner. Thoughtfulness, consideration, and kindness is the recipe for healthy relationships. It's important not to forget that you're two separate people with separate needs, including some needs that you may not share. You will not agree on everything, and sometimes you may not want the same things.
It's important to respect these differences and not push each other's boundaries, including emotional boundaries, physical boundaries, and any other types of boundaries. Boundaries are a necessary characteristic of a healthy relationship. You have to be committed to your partner, yes.
But more than commitment to your partner, you have to be committed to the relationship. If you think about the health and future of the relationship instead of just your own, you're likely to take more constructive actions and behave differently. It's not just about getting your needs met. It's about replenishing the fire so your relationship can last. That's what a healthy relationship is all about. Thoughtfulness is a characteristic of a healthy relationship that often gets overlooked because it can be hard to articulate.
Essentially, thoughtfulness means keeping your partner in mind and striving to do things that will make their lives better. It's knowing their preferences, opinions, and quirks so you're able to dance with them, not fight them with. The better you know your partner, the more you can practice thoughtfulness. What can you do today to help them or improve their lives?
What can you do today to make your partner's day? Any partner will have qualities, characteristics, and behaviors that push your buttons. To make your relationship last, you have to accept your partner unconditionally—quirks, behavior, flaws, and all.
Likewise, you will sometimes feel hurt throughout a relationship because we're all humans who make mistakes. The key is to forgive quickly, let go of grudges, and start over each day. Yes, this is easier said than done, but forgiveness is crucial to the long-term health of the relationship. You have to let go of trespasses and also be willing to ask for forgiveness. Forgiveness takes courage, vulnerability, and practice.
Of course, forgiveness doesn't mean being a pushover or accepting mistreatment from your partner. There are many signs of an abusive relationship that aren't physical to be aware of.
In a healthy relationship, you first you make the commitment to accept them completely. Then, you speak up and say what it is that's bothering you. If hurtful actions continue, it may be a sign you should break up. Gentleness comes through in thoughts, words, actions, and your general state of being. It's understanding and accepting your partner completely and treating them delicately. It's not yelling, not name-calling, and not being verbally or emotionally harsh with each other.
Gentleness is treating your partner in a respectful, kind, and compassionate way. It's recognizing your soulful connection and appreciating their inherent humanness. After some time in relationships, we often forget to show love and affection toward our partners. A strong relationship can be considered a team. What matters is how you address conflict. Partners who address conflict without judgment or contempt can often find a compromise or solution.
Your relationship should contribute to a sense of fulfillment, happiness, and connection. If you tend to feel more anxious , distressed, or unhappy around your partner, your relationship may be struggling.
But it may help point out some possible issues. Boundaries can come into play across your relationship, from respectful communication to privacy needs. But they continue to come up to you right when you get home, trying to kiss you and pull you into the bedroom. But their behavior shows disrespect for your needs. Life events can sometimes get in the way of your time together, but these changes are usually temporary.
Your relationship might be struggling if you consistently see less of each other without a clear reason, such as family difficulties or more responsibilities at work. You might even try to find excuses to avoid spending time together. Healthy relationships tend to be fairly well balanced.
You might equally share finances, or balance out a lower income by running more errands. But relationship equality can also relate to intangible things, such as affection, communication, and relationship expectations. Periods of inequality can happen from time to time.
One of you might temporarily lose your income, struggle to help with chores because of illness, or feel less affectionate due to stress or other emotional turmoil. But in a healthy relationship, partners generally take care to express their feelings in helpful, productive ways. Criticism that makes you feel ashamed or bad about yourself is generally unproductive. Also note how they talk about others. Your relationship with each other could seem perfectly healthy, but if they use hate speech, slurs, or make discriminatory remarks about others, consider what this behavior says about them as a person.
Miscommunications can happen, of course. Partners should always feel safe to have their own opinions, even when this means they disagree. If you fear physical or verbal abuse , talk to a therapist as soon as you can. For many people, key relationship goals include increased happiness and life satisfaction. If you feel uneasy or unhappy all the time, the relationship may not be meeting your needs. Healthy conflict resolution typically leads to solutions or compromise. Maintaining a relationship is an ongoing process, so you might not work everything out right away.
But you usually feel good about your conversations afterward. You usually see some progress. Maybe they eventually just shut you out. If some or several of the relationship red flags struck home, couples counseling might be a good step.
It means you want to work at improving, for yourselves and for each other.
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