Little Johnny was watching TV with his mother. Johnny: "Why is this tampon commercial so long? The teacher asked little Johnny if he knew his numbers yet.
Tell me what comes after two," the teacher said. What comes after five, Johnny? Your dad did a very good job. Now, what comes after ten? Johnny, George, and Bert were driving along in their pickup when they saw a sheep caught in the fence with its hind end up in the air. Bert said, "I wish that was Sharon Stone. Teacher: What has the election taught us? Little Johnny: You don't need to hold press conferences if you have a Twitter account!
Now Fluffy is a frequent visitor to our fifth-grade remote classes and loves when we read stories. It fell off the wall while he was pulling on the cord and slammed down on top of 4 or 5 computers in a huge cloud of dust and debris. The nurse was right across the hall, and as I was leaving to go to the hospital to get 7 stitches, my Physics class showed me that while I was in the nurse's office they had approximated the mass of the speaker, and the distance it fell, and computed the amount of energy transferred from the speaker to my head.
My "roomie" teaches 7th and 8th grade. We teach in 3 different rooms depending upon the period and our shared room is full all day, straight through.
After 2 weeks of tech chaos this fall for both of us, where each time that something went wrong it was different from the time before and therefore really hard to troubleshoot, our tech dept figured out that our laptops were "confused" and crashing by 4th period due to grabbing internet through different portals -this rippled into the smartboard overheating and shutting down by last period.
You can imagine trying to teach math without being able to write on a board and last period to boot. Anyways, I have a class of 30 6th graders with 12 or 13 in class and the remainder at home in seemingly constant motion at their desks, kitchen tables, etc. On the first day the zoom dropped me out when I logged back in after maybe 2 minutes, the chat was lit up with a string of questions: "where did she go? Thank goodness the gap was short and my dutiful sixth graders were waiting!
I have a student that was at home doing remote learning and brought her device into the bathroom and didn't shut the camera off. Let's just say, I'm glad I teach 5th grade because most often things go over their heads. I asked her what was wrong and she burst out in tears, saying that the police were calling on her cell phone. She said she had "butt-dialed" the emergency page on her phone while trying to put it in her backpack and they had been trying to call her back.
I told her to answer the call but she refused because she was scared she would be in trouble. So I answered the call, which did not amuse the operator! I tried to explain the situation, but she understandably didn't trust that I was speaking for the girl.
They were able to trace the call back to the high school to verify that she was in the building, and sent the resource officer to my room to do a check. Luckily I'm close with this student and still tease her a little every once in a while! I was on with one of my kinders yesterday and he was reading nonsense words.
They try to read them as whole words but if they aren't able to they can say the letter sounds. They were all CVC words. This particular student was not able to read whole words yet but was able to do some of the letter sounds. More jokes about: little Johnny , school , teacher. Teacher: Now, Ramu, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
Ramu: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook. Vote: share joke Joke has More jokes about: food , god , school , teacher. Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe? Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. Then the teacher asked April a third question. More jokes about: god , little Johnny , religious , teacher.
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up! The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny? More jokes about: little Johnny , stupid , teacher. Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?
If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?
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